Tag Archives: Advertising

I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.

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Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. He taught me a code. To survive. You’re a killer. I catch killers. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter.

Road Kill

God created pudding, and then he rested. You all right, Dexter? I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before.

  • This man is a knight in shining armor.
  • This man is a knight in shining armor.
  • God created pudding, and then he rested.

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Cops, another community I’m not part of. This man is a knight in shining armor. This man is a knight in shining armor.

First Blood

I’m really more an apartment person. This man is a knight in shining armor. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. You all right, Dexter? I’m real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals. I am not a killer.

  1. God created pudding, and then he rested.
  2. I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex!
  3. You all right, Dexter?
  4. Cops, another community I’m not part of.
Teenage Wasteland

I’m generally confused most of the time. Like a sloth. I can do that. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized.

The British Invasion

Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. You all right, Dexter?

USA: WTC till date biggest damage to mankind

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Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

Army of Ghosts

You’ve swallowed a planet! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish.

  • You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
  • Saving the world with meals on wheels.
  • You’ve swallowed a planet!
  • I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

Vincent and the Doctor

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you? I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!

The Empty Child

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Saving the world with meals on wheels. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

  1. Saving the world with meals on wheels.
  2. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.
Evolution of the Daleks

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

Vincent and the Doctor

Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. Saving the world with meals on wheels. I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun!

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But with the blast shield down, I can’t even see! How am I supposed to fight? Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. I want to come with you to Alderaan. There’s nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and be a Jedi, like my father before me.

The Rebel Force

I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan– I want to come with you to Alderaan. There’s nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and be a Jedi, like my father before me. Oh God, my uncle. How am I ever gonna explain this? Ye-ha! The Force is strong with this one. I have you now.

  • I care. So, what do you think of her, Han?
  • Your eyes can deceive you. Don’t trust them.
  • I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct.

Return of the Jedi

The Force is strong with this one. I have you now. Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. Red Five standing by. Ye-ha! I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct.

Imperial Star Destroyer

I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. It’s such a long way from here. The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you. You don’t believe in the Force, do you?

  1. I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing.
  2. Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.
  3. Look, I ain’t in this for your revolution, and I’m not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I’m in it for the money.
The Phantom Menace

Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more like…suicide. I call it luck.

Rebel Mission to Ord Mantell

No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can’t possibly… The Force is strong with this one. I have you now. A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan– I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan–

And from now on you’re all named Bender Jr.

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I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Radioactive Man

Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.” What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway. You don’t win friends with salad. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

  • Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
  • Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico?
  • Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.

Rosebud

Ahoy hoy? I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

Cape Feare

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box… Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark. “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion. I didn’t get rich by signing checks.

  1. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.
  2. This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”
  3. When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.
The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

I hope I didn’t brain my damage. Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box…

Duffless

I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction. I was saying “Boo-urns.” Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*